Today I did something I never do: I filled out an online survey as requested by a receipt in exchange for entry into a crappy sweepstakes.  I’m not sure what prompted me to do this, but by the time I was done answering moronic questions, such as, ”how much (on a scale of 1 to 10) did your visit today feel like an experience and not just a transaction?”, I was thoroughly frustrated.  So when given the opportunity for an open response, I took full advantage.  The question that loose the floodgates was #19: “What could this location do to improve your shopping experience?”.  My response follows:

“Nothing really.  It was fine.  It had games on display, but I didn’t have time to play them.  It was clean and well organized and the staff was helpful.  

In response to your question about how much my visit “felt like an experience more than just a transaction,” I must say that it did not, because that’s retarded.  I went there to make a transaction, it’s supposed to feel like a transaction.  I mean, jesus christ, what is wrong with you people?  Why does shopping have to be an experience?  I don’t want a lot of bullshit when I shop.  I just want to find what I’m looking for, or be left alone to browse the selection, and then get on with my day.  I’m not there to make friends or to shoot the breeze with your awkward sales associates (that did not happen on this particular occasion, but it’s a recurring experience at many GameStop locations).

And another thing.  Where do you get off discounting a used game by only 10%?  On what planet does that make sense?  Most used items loose 20% of their value just by walking out the door to the store.  Some of your used games don’t even have covers on the boxes or game manuals.  And yet a pre-owned copy of a $55 game is somehow worth $50?  Christ, get over yourselves.  I can generally buy games NEW online for at least 10% less than you charge for a used game, and that’s including shipping.  Basically you’re charging for convenience, but I gotta tell you, I’m becoming more and more inclined to switch to all online shopping just to punish you for your arrogance.  Convenience is worth about $3, maximum.  It’s time to get a grip, before you become totally irrelevant.”

Alright, so I didn’t exactly slay them, but what do you want, they’re a massive company that does whatever it wants.  Nothing I say would make the slightest difference in how they operate.  Hopefully at least the poor sap who has to read these survey’s got a kick out of it.